


Solus Meus

by evaunit0



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Exhibitionism, Fluff and Angst, Jealousy, M/M, Pining Shiro (Voltron), Possessive Behavior, not a/b/o btw, someone should tell shiro that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-22 17:05:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11971788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evaunit0/pseuds/evaunit0
Summary: Shiro has waited too long to watch someone else eclipse him.





	Solus Meus

**Author's Note:**

> this is borderline explicit btw.

Shiro had never given the thought of _true love_ or _love at first sight_ much thought before he met Keith.

From the moment he saw him, they occupied his mind constantly, and complexly. He thought about it so often, his subconscious generated _dreams_ about it.

Keith used to tease that Shiro had him singled out at the Garrison, and it wasn't entirely untrue. Shiro had been drawn to his unruly nature like a sudden surge of gravity, and often times he couldn't meet his eyes in the hallway without losing breath, or bumping into someone.

And while it took months to pry at Keith's personal walls, there was some feeling so natural that came after Shiro easily slipped his arms around Keith one night after studying, pressing him deep into his chest. Keith didn't hesitate to wrap him arms around him either, and Shiro's chest belted a solid, high note at the return of affection. The next day at breakfast, Keith smiled wide, like a children's drawing of the sun with a perfect, happy face.

He gave Matt his usual smirk, and started eating his cereal. And as much as Shiro wanted to reach across the table to hold Keith's hand, Shiro knew Keith didn't take their hug as romantic.

And that was fine, on some level. Progress, he told himself, of a sorts.

It didn't mute the fact that he was still miles past puppy-love, and aching to have his heart recognized.

It also didn't help the urge to quarter off Keith from the rest of of the Garrison, hating every moment someone shot a cheap insult towards Keith in jealousy. Sure, Shiro could glare at the cadets he knew bothered Keith - that is, until Keith caught on, and scolded Shiro for trying to fight for him. "I can stand up for myself, Shiro."

Shiro played the innocent card, but his insides deflated at the idea of Keith not needing him, especially when he had become hopelessly reliant on Keith to get him through his day.

But Shiro wasn't one to trust in the fate of the universe - he liked to take direct action to further his own goals, taking physical strides forward in an attempt to remain in control, whether that was keeping Keith in his life, or making it into space.

That, of course, changed after the Kerberos mission.

So did Shiro.

He didn't know what Keith would think about his disappearance - part of him convulsed at the thought of Keith being upset on his behalf, and the other, selfish, rotted part of him found solace in his conceptual reaction.

When Keith _did_ find him, Shiro was drugged and malnourished, battered and frantic.

But he managed to open his eyes long enough to have the image of Keith crying above him - adrenaline worn off and shaking like a child - locked in his mind forever.

It felt like an open gash in the arena; some of which he never thought he'd recover from.

He wasn't so sure he'd ever recover from _this_ one.

It wasn't loving, or comforting to watch Keith cry over him. No - it was gutturally revolting.

Keith had stopped crying after seeing Shiro's eyes crack open, and a twisted expression played out on his face.

Keith's voice resonated at the same tone as angel wings, full of light and purity. "Shiro?" The hand on his cheek was thinner than he remembered, and more calloused - but Shiro leaned into it anyway, nuzzling it, before blacking out again.

Shiro had dreamed that Keith went on a solo rescue mission to find him, once. That Keith was his knight - his hero.

Shiro needed a reminder that as much as he loved him, Keith was only human.

Or so they thought.

The months in space had lulled Shiro into a sense of complacency - sure, the crew was rowdy - but there were no real surprises when it came to transgalactic travel; there would be weird aliens, oddball planets, and Galra to quarter. What else was there that was genuinely new?

After the visit to the Blade of Marmora's headquarters, Shiro felt sick with deja vu, hating that he and Keith were stuck in his loop of pain and recovery.

He still felt the Galra hands on him, struggling to keep him restrained after his attempt to run to Keith. In some ways, he resented the Blade more than his Galra captors. The latter were just mindlessly doing their job. The former was barring away his friend, torturing him to no end, and forcing him to watch. In the arena, Shiro had control of his actions, and he could probe out solutions as he needed them.

Right then, he just had to stomach his boiling rage and pray that Keith knew when to quit.

Watching the monitor, he hoped that Keith wouldn't wake up one day and connect the dots that most of their mutual suffering came from the cyclical loss of each other. Shiro had definitely identified the pattern early on, but Keith wasn't even aware of Shiro's true feelings.

_You're like a brother to me._

Shiro tried to take it as a compliment.

But it felt more like a blister he couldn't stop running his tongue over in his mouth, leaving the taste of blood fresh in his memory. And even though the statement was directed at Keith's self-projected hologram instead of the real him, Shiro still felt the reverberations of it ringing in his chest.

Back on the ship, Shiro had helped Keith undress after the trials, and naturally averted his eyes when Keith's suit fell off his torso, hanging loosely around his waist. As Shiro turned, he saw Keith's back, littered with deep, ripe marks and a shiny red tear starting to scar on his shoulder.

Shiro wanted to touch him; wanted to show Keith his own scars. After all, he was certain Keith must have seen some of them as he helped Shiro change clothes in his shack. They could match for once.

Really, he just wanted to offer any semblance of comfort.

"That wasn't you," Keith said in a cracked octave, shaking as Shiro helped him into the shower - and closing his eyes as Keith stripped out of the purple suit and handed it to his outstretched hand - waiting until he heard Keith pull the curtain to open his eyes. Keith spoke again, somberly. "You'd never leave me. I'm Galra, and you're still here."

Shiro wanted to cry. Instead, he leaned against the wall of the bathroom, waiting for Keith to finish washing himself as he felt his throat get tighter, and nose start to run. "Keith, I'll always be here, I promise."

"I know." Keith's voice was assured, and it made Shiro's head feel light.

After he heard Keith turn the shower off, Shiro turned around as Keith wrapped himself in towels, reaching out for Shiro's arm to balance him as he stepped out of the shower. Keith slipped forward a step, gingerly adjusting his foot to walk on the heel rather than the pad. "I've got you," Shiro said, placing a hand on his upper back, still damp.

Keith smiled up at him, practically bubbling with admiration and gratitude that Shiro forgot himself for a moment, mindlessly prattling on. "You can stay with me tonight. If you want."

Keith's smile amplified like a pebble being tossed into water. "Like old times?" Keith reached for Shiro's arm to steady himself, but found his wrist instead. Shiro looked away before Keith could see his blush, and failed to notice the pink tinting Keith's face. "I'd like that, Shiro."

So they both dreamed - separately - together.

Lazily, they woke up - Keith snuggled against Shiro's back, one of his hands still loosely wrapped around his forearm - and Shiro hummed happily. This is what wasting weekends felt like at the Garrison; albeit Matt wasn't tucked into the corner of the bed, grumpily balling himself away from the two _lovebirds._

It took Shiro a solid minute of being awake to realize that their legs were completely tangled, and Keith's body was probably being crushed by his weight.

That was new.

So was the absence of anyone else in the room.

Distantly, Shiro knew they needed to get up - there were negotiations to be made with the Blade of Marmora, and the group would expect them to act as liaisons.

Gently, Shiro escaped Keith's hold, and rolled over to face him. Keith looked agitated while waking up, but when he saw Shiro, he sheepishly grinned, a yawn escaping his mouth. "You woke me up."

Shiro ignored the bump of Keith's knee against his thigh and snorted, speaking with a rough edge in his voice he blamed on the morning, and not the fact that Keith was looking like an angel in front of him. "We should get up. They know we're never asleep this long."

Keith looked reluctant to agree, shifting on his side. "It's not my fault you're up at ungodly hours."

"Are you sore?" Shiro hand was itching to brush back Keith's hair, especially as it fell into his eyes.

Keith shrugged, but Shiro heard a distinct pop as he stretched his legs under the covers. "I'll get over it." Keith sat up, crawling over Shiro's legs to stand up and stretch lightly. "We should go before Allura kills Kolivan. Or me." Keith added with a touch of remorse, and Shiro was out of bed in an instant, hand on his shoulder.

"She just needs time," Shiro ruffled Keith's hair, making him crack a smile. "After all, she doesn't really know you yet."

Keith just snorted, turning around to pull of his shirt. Shiro didn't turn around, but he wished he did.

He hated the red and purple hues impacted into Keith's skin, and the tightness around his muscles, barely being able to afford the movement Keith needed just to put on a fresh shirt.

"You need a healing pod," Shiro said, making Keith glance back at him.

"It'll wear off," Keith insisted, and controlled his flinch as the shirt fell on around him.

It was Shiro's shirt.

Shiro couldn't help his staring, and Keith noticed.

"Shit," He mumbled, fingering the long hem of the top. "I should have asked, I just-"

"No, it's fine," Shiro interrupted, trying to smile evenly despite his hammering heart. "Like old times, right?"

Keith let it drop, his mouth curling. "Yeah."

The next few days were nothing like they had experienced together before.

The planning took up hours of their day, often leaving them drained at the helms in the command room. Luckily, it left Keith with enough time to recover from his injuries, as well as have the team grow used to the idea of him being Galra, as well as a Blade member.

An hour after the revelation, they were already making jokes, and tossing questions at Keith that left him exasperated.

That was, everyone but Allura.

Shiro suppressed the tightness in his chest as every time he had to watch Keith look at Allura, feeling his stomach coil as she glared at him. Keith looked hurt each time.

Flexing his hands, Shiro stood beside Keith, waiting out whatever minimal discussion Kolivan and Pidge were having. Did Keith have a _crush_ on Allura? Shiro hadn't known Keith to willingly find affection in people before - let alone romantic feelings.

So Shiro seethed, but ultimately resigned himself as the leader of Voltron. He had to put personal feelings aside.

That was, until it was decided that the missions would be split up.

There was no argument Shiro could think of to effectively counter the fact that he and Keith should be on separate missions; he swallowed as it was mutually agreed, and the details began to formulate.

The next day was their launch, and Shiro wasn't ready to say goodbye to Keith. The memory of their Kerberos launch farewells blurred together in his mind. He wasn't ready. Not then, or now.

The hug was muscle memory at that point, and Shiro didn't flinch when Keith buried his face into his shoulder, inhaling softly. Their hands were enclosed between their chests, and for once, Shiro hoped Keith could feel his heartbeat stuttering, trying to pump enough blood to keep him conscious while knowing this may be the last time he saw Keith should the mission go wrong.

 _No._ He trusted Keith, and his abilities.

Neither of them could guess how long they were standing there with the others watching them, before they both pulled apart; Shiro already feeling the onset of an ache. _It would only hurt to hold on_.

To hope.

Shiro didn't remember much of what his clone Kuron did - especially after Black transportalized him across the universe - but it didn't matter when he finally saw Keith's face and fumbled forward to hug him, desperately pulling him down to the ground with him.

"I love you," Keith whispered, and Shiro felt himself start to cry as Keith's arms grew tighter around him.

"I love you, too." Shiro said, and buried his face into Keith's neck. He physically felt his body relax as he smelled Keith's skin, and could mold him into his body. "I want to spend every minute I can with you."

Keith sniffed, and held Shiro's face between his hands. "I don't want to think about losing you again."

"Then don't," Shiro said, and pulled him into their first kiss, perfectly contained, like kindling under a bushel.

The rest of the group would arrive afterwards, running forward to greet Shiro - but they'd take special notice of them holding hands.

And of Shiro's growing smile.

\-----

Keith had never been happier than when Shiro and him started dating.

It felt obvious - both to Keith, and the rest of the team - that the match was perfect.

Still, some things took some... adjusting.

"I didn't know you and Lance had become friends," Shiro said, pulling Keith closer on the couch. They had taken to using the lounge area later in the evening after dinner, so that the others knew where to find them, but they could still have some alone time. 

"I guess so," Keith snorted, tilting his head up to kiss Shiro's chin. "Instead of bickering _every_ time he opens his mouth, it's a probable twelve-to-seven."

Shiro looked like he wanted to smile, but huffed. "I guess - I don't know - he _touches_ you more now. They all do."

Keith looked genuinely thrown for a moment before a thought made him grin, and he reached up to poke Shiro's chest. "You're _jealous_."

Blushing, Shiro sat up in his seat, drawing Keith with him. "Maybe, but I'm not _mad_ at them, I just-" Shiro stopped as Keith crawled into Shiro's lap, and shut him up with a kiss.

"It's okay, Shiro. I'm glad you told me," Keith said, slipping his hands around Shiro's waist.

Shiro leaned his head forward, mumbling into Keith's shirt. "You're going to use this against me, aren't you?"

"Oh yeah," Keith laughed, and kissed Shiro's forehead. "I still can't believe you want me, Shiro. I love you."

Pulling Keith's head down for another kiss, Shiro sighed. "I love you, too. You always beat me to saying that."

Keith tried to keep from sneezing as Shiro rubbed their noses together. "I'm faster than you."

"Then how come I always catch you?" Shiro asked, throwing his arms tightly around Keith and pulling him down firmly onto his lap.

Keith's stomach got tight when he felt Shiro getting hard under him. Keith rolled his hips once, testing. "Want something?"

Shiro moaned, bucking up into him slowly. "I can't stop thinking about you," he admitted, and Keith could feel his own dick start to twitch as Shiro's hands started moving over his body, his hands easily encapsulating his entire thigh in a vice grip, keeping Keith kneeling, spread out over his legs. Vulnerable.

Shiro was the only person Keith would allow this privilege.

Keith lost track of his hands, desperately pulling Shiro closer to him, trying to consume him. Sure, they had sped things up pretty quickly to make up for lost time, but that was in the comfort of their beds - planned, scheduled, and discussed beforehand.

This was in a public space, completely unprompted.

"Shiro, don't you think we should, uh," Keith faltered as Shiro's mouth opened on his neck, tongue pressed onto his pulse. "We should go to our rooms to-"

"No," Shiro said flatly, nipping at Keith's skin until he started to squirm in Shiro's lap, grinding lightly against his stomach. "I want them to know you're mine."

Keith tried to roll his eyes, but shivered when Shiro's hands slid under his shirt, fingers splayed out on his shoulder blades like wings. Keith couldn't help but arch into the touch, making Shiro smile.

Keith's voice was a weakened moan. "Shiro, they _know_ we're together."

"They don't know _I'm_ the only one who gets to touch you."

A wire short-circuited in Keith's brain, and he felt his mouth unhinge in breathy silence.

Shiro was still grinning. "You like that? You like being my kitten?"

Wordlessly, Keith tried nodding his head, but all his motor skills had left him, and his head felt like a sandbag.

 _Did_ Shiro get jealous? Of their _teammates_?

The bite marks accumulating on Keith's neck from Shiro's wet mouth seemed to speak for themselves.

Inhaling sharply as he felt Shiro's cock rut against his own, Keith finally had the wits to talk. "Is that why you've been so upset lately?"

Shiro growled, and Keith felt it against his jawline. Whatever this primal urge Shiro was riding out was affecting Keith more than he'd like to admit - already, his dick was painfully straining against his pants, and he felt a wet spot where he precum has leaked. Shiro hardly seemed interested in his dick, however, instead choosing to run his nails through his head with his gloves still on. Shiro huffed, letting a hot breath of air hit Keith's ear. "I'm not upset."

Distantly, Keith heard the paced fall of footsteps in the hallway intersecting the lounge, and tried to edge off of Shiro's lap.

Shiro tugged him back, forcing Keith to straddle his thigh to stay upright. Keith made a desperate noise as Shiro's mouth covered his own, silencing his attempted warning.

"I know," Shiro said in between breaths, and Keith's stomach dropped.

Of course.

This is what Shiro wanted - to show everyone what they had.

Keith's stomach did a flip as Shiro's Galra hand slid up his spine, making him shiver into his chest. Mentally kicking himself for how turned on he was, Keith groaned as Shiro's teeth scrapped his pulse while his metal fingers dragged down his back. He could already feel the red marks flaring on his skin, and he knew the rest of the group would see them in the shower.

" _Fuck_ ," Keith hissed, his dick twitching as he heard the footsteps echo right outside the door. "You planned this."

"Oh, there's more," Shiro said cockily, thrusting up into Keith's ass as the door slid open with a burst of air.

It was Allura.

Keith felt red-hot all over, especially as everyone stilled for a moment, with only Keith and Shiro's breath mixing in the otherwise silent room.

Shiro, composed as ever, pulled Keith closer to him by the hips, making Keith fall against his chest. Nervously, Keith watched Allura's mouth open in silence before she turned on her heels and walked back out of the room, stiff as a statue.

Shiro's mouth was wet against Keith's ear, nibbling on his lobe. "See, that wasn't so bad."

Keith couldn't deny that, especially as Shiro reached down to grasp Keith's dick through his pants. Keith's tongue fumbled to reply. "She's going to tell the fucking mice, Shiro."

Shiro laughed into his shoulder, tugging at the waistband of Keith's pants. "That may be old news to them."

\-----

After dinner the next week, it was Shiro's turn to clean the dishes, and Keith lagged behind in order to help him. It didn't take long before Shiro was lifting Keith off the ground and pushing him into the island counter, spine hitting the surface with a jolt.

"Still hungry?" Keith teased, and he felt Shiro's nails run through his hair, making his cowlick even more uncontrollable.

"Let me suck you off," Shiro begged, and Keith was in no position to refuse, especially with how desperate Shiro was looking at him standing between his legs. He pulled him into a kiss for a moment, loving that Shiro let himself be dominated in it.

They broke apart, and Keith watched as Shiro moved back for a moment, working to undo Keith's belt. Keith looked down at Shiro's crotch and almost choked. " _God_ , have you been hard this whole time?"

Shiro grinned, pulling off Keith's belt and letting it drop on the ground. "I was thinking about crawling under the table, kneeling in front of you, and having my mouth around you all during dinner."

"I hate you," Keith muttered, his head hitting the back of the kitchen counter with a thud.

"No, you don't," Shiro said, and tugged down Keith's pants far enough that he could mark up his inner thighs. Keith moaned as Shiro's tongue pressed into his skin, and he felt his dick start to tent while picturing Shiro's little daydream.

He felt his cheeks start to get warm at the idea of Shiro's mouth wrapped around him while he tried to remain calm. He'd _die_ if anyone caught them.

Keith's eyes opened at the thought.

"Shiro-"

"You're gonna taste so good, baby," Shiro groaned, and Keith didn't know how to fight this - or even begin to guess if it was planned.

He didn't need to wait for long.

The doors opened on Hunk and Lance, both of them already in their pajamas, looking like they were planning on taking food back to their rooms. Their plans were interrupted by Shiro's mouth popping off of Keith's thighs, and meeting each other's eyes.

Without thinking, Keith lifted his hips up, grinding his cock into Shiro's face with a needy whine.

Shiro looked almost as surprised as Lance and Hunk.

"Oh my god, I'm going to throw up," Lance gagged into his arm, grabbing his stomach dramatically. "You both have _rooms_!" Lance yelled, and Hunk nodded, shielding his eyes behind his hands.

"I can't believe - _in the kitchen_ \- you better clean the counters after this," Hunk scolded, undermined by the timidity that came out in his voice, and turned around to drag Lance out as he kept shrieking.

Once the doors closed, Shiro raised an eyebrow at Keith. "What was that about?"

Keith exhaled as Shiro palmed his dick, trying to get an answer out of him. Finally, Shiro tipped his thumb on Keith's head, and he caved in a moan. "I don't know, maybe I like it because _you_ like it-"

Shiro grinned, teeth flashing. "Like what?"

Keith went furiously red. "You know what."

Shiro's mouth hovered over his dick, the hot air from his mouth making his nerves feel like acid. "You like me showing you off?"

Keith rolled his eyes, trying to not rip his clothes off in frustration. "I'm yours, Shiro," Keith realized he wasn't in control - not even with Shiro bent down with his face pressed into Keith's hipbones - and shivered. "You can do whatever you want with me."

Shiro's eyes fluttered shut, and he mumbled softly, "You don't know how many times I've dreamt you saying that."

Keith pushed the rest of his underwear down and waited for Shiro to meet his gaze.

"Then show me."

\-----

"You're both gross," Pidge said, crossing the control room to enter her lion's bay.

Keith and Shiro both looked up from their respective screens, sitting crosslegged on the floor, and shrugged.

Shiro had waited a long time to hear someone say that about the two of them, and smiled as he leaned over to give Keith a kiss.

Keith frowned. "What'd we do?"

**Author's Note:**

> i finally got my roommate to watch mad men & she got me to see baby driver (twice) so my jon hamm fixation is back in full swing, sobs.
> 
> i love the idea of shiro being in love like don was with megan, or buddy was with darling. like, the intense love shown through casual jealousy. (if you don't know what i'm talking about - [imagine shiro in this outfit](https://i2.wp.com/quemeanswhat.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/baby-driver-DF-01629_r.png?resize=850%2C533) with keith on his lap, sharing the black lion seat in the helm room)
> 
> anyway,
> 
> tumblr: paladinlion


End file.
